The day dad made me walk to church

Meanwhile, back in Uyoma, it’s a lovely Sunday morning…

There is something special about Sundays when you are a budding teenager hoping to lead an upright lifestyle in the village. The previous day, there was a gathering for the Small Christian Community-Jumuiya – visit at home and I was selected in absentia to do the first reading in church. You see, at home, herding is a preserve of the young boys and this time, it fell squarely on me. So on Saturday, I took charge and after watering the animals and having lunch, I headed further afield away from home. We were always warned and it became a tradition that when it’s your turn, you take the cows as far as possible and return in the evening with healthy happy cows.

I returned as the guests were just leaving so not much was said until after I had finished all the chores involving the domestic animals. Mum called me aside and knowing that I could not easily accept standing in front of the congregation reading the bible; she gave me cash to purchase some goods from the shop and happily added that all the balance from the shop are mine even though she knew that there was very little left. Am trapped now and will do all her wishes. In no time, I was back from the shop and busy enjoying my sweets from the balance promised. Mum is in the kitchen doing the utensils and being a large family, there was always excess tea for anyone to quench their thirst. The jumuiya team left some too and beside the three stones fire place, I can see a big aluminum kettle. She read my mind, offered me the bench beside her and says ‘nyathina iol sana, bed piny imadh chai bang tich matek (my child you seem very tired, please sit down and have some tea after tough job).  She has a leso wrapped around her waist, I sit beside her, our backs touching each other; she stops a bit to look at me, that motherly gaze, scouring pad in her right hand, medium sized sufuria in her left hand, water dripping from both hands… Yes, she has me all figured out

Am relaxed, I feel at home so I grab a clean metallic mug and fill it with tea. Mum instructs me that there is githeri so I grab another plate and scoop some. The githeri is warm, full of beans from first harvest and the aroma is welcoming. I wash my hands then dig in. This time mum is rinsing the last plate and the feeling is just perfect! Dusk is fast approaching. I don’t want to leave the kitchen. I feel I belong here… We are bonding. Mum then tells me to empty the dirty water somewhere. We had some banana plants behind the kitchen and I decide to help the suckers reproduce quickly. Everything is clean now and well arranged so we have time to chat more and that’s when am informed that I was selected to handle the first reading in church tomorrow.

Supper went well but I could not sleep that night…just picturing myself in the pulpit, facing the congregation, everybody listening only to ME, a small black potato-head boy with dimples, beaming with shyness, walking from his seat to the ambo, after the hymn, then open the chapter from the old testament and say the words audibly and have people’s attention. This was my moment; I must not let anyone down. I woke up pretty early, very early and since dad is an early riser, I had hoped of enjoying a ride on his bike which he was very cool with as mum had prepared the way before. So he knew he would carry me to church, about 3.4km from home. Since home is downhill from where we are heading to, we walk a bit to clear the steep as baba cannot ride uphill with a 40kg boy at the back.

Before making even a hundred metres on the main road, more congregants join us. Dad knows them, so the enthusiasm by which he greeted them was a very clear sign that it was going to be an interesting journey on our way to church. Dad had a trademark baseball hat branded Chicago Bulls.

Dad (‘with all his ivory outside’): Amosou kanyo, Ruoth oyaonwa piny kendo (Greetings to you all, God has granted us another day)

Congregant 1: Kamano Gabriel, wachieo maber (That’s correct Gabriel, we woke up fine)

Dad: Wabende eri wasewuok wadhi lamo (We are out on our way to church too)

Congregant2: Lamo ber, tinde ndalo tin wamak mana Yeso (It’s good to pray, people don’t live long these days, let’s just stick to Jesus)

I walked to church…

I managed to practice the scripture reading a couple of times before mass.

In a checked shirt, brown khaki pants and black sandak shoes, I sat pensively behind the choir members.

It’s time. The Priest approached with the altar boys and the Entrance Chant is sung. He arrived at the altar and after making a profound bow, he venerated the altar. After the introductory rite was concluded then came the penitential act. The absolution then followed and this time, my heartbeat is racing double. We sung hymn but am mumbling, butterflies racing in my stomach when everything finally came to a stop, the song is ended. We are in the liturgy of the word.

I read and concluded ‘Word of the Lord’

When the church was ended, I left using the back entrance and from a distance, I saw dad with a group of friends, his friends. The narrative he was spreading was, ‘that first reader was my son’. I had rightly earned that ride back home. But not before he made me greet people as we walked past the church compound.

I could smell pride somewhere but as for me I just wanted to get home and eat some chapat that mum preserved for me when the guests came yesterday…

The Story Behind Your Date of Birth

STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH !!!! Interesting !!

Hey this is really true and see it will work for you too

If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1….

If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2…

If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3…

If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4…

If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5…

If U were born on the 6th, 15th, 24th of any month then U r number 6…

If U were born on the 7th, 16th, 25th of any month then U r number 7…

If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8…

If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9…

Number 1

You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities, Famous person… always want to be and regarded as first on people position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under others, self confident people!

You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views
And you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.

If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Because of your smart behavior you will be hated by some people too…

Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner & wonderful children… You are pioneer, independent & original…

Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!

note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 2

No matter what, you will be loved by every one because your ruler is the moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot, you have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances, kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.

Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).

If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge you can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business people!

You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole family. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of Your family…You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!

Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!

note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 3

You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything.. You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always you have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order to achieve something.. You will not get anything without hardwork! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them. You do set so many examples to others.

Generally you are not a cool person. It’s not easy thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone’s attitude then here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.

Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won’t be long.. you will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it’s over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will
be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow.

You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!!

Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!

note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 4

You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don’t know what to do… So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!!

Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls.. You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example you have got a degree in some thing… but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.

But you will take care of your family very well…All you need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too..

You are radical, patient, persistent,a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order…

Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!

note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 5

You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks “lets do this”. You will be famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Because your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships! Contacts even you are married at times because of your popularity..

You are someone who get along with anyone because the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it’s your best teacher!!!

Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!

note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 6

Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don’t care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.

You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family & friends .

If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life because you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further…

Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5 !!!
note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 7

You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.

You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls, you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.

Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of willfulness, such worries all their lifetime.

It’s probably the Lord given you all sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don’t, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue, ok?

You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!!

Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!
note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 8

You are a very strong personality, there’s no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say “this is what”.
You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good you might lose either of your parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.

The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others.

Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face unexpected problems such as :
the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents.

You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter!

Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!
note: if you don’t share bad luck for 10 years it true please don’t ignore

Number 9

Hey…you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally… You are often have big-aims. You will work hard and hard to get there. Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what you have done, it’s always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.

You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.

Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs because people always trust you.

Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.

Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.

You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.

You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.

Your Best match 3, 5, 6, 9. Good match 2

Please share to all…….Image

The Animal Magnetism

Are you one of those people for whom the day wouldn’t be quite right without discovering a little pet hair on your clothing when you get to work?  Does the pitter-patter of little feet continue even after the kids have gone off to college?  Do you swear you’re not going to get another pet, only to have one show up on your doorstep?

The human race’s affinity for animals is widespread and spans the centuries.  What most likely started out as a mutually beneficial relationship has evolved over the centuries.  Ancient Romans kept dogs and birds, as well as cats and horses, although they were likely working animals.  7th century Buddhist Monks raised goldfish in ponds and by the 14th century the Chinese were keeping them in bowls as pets.  By the mid-1800’s, as middle class society emerged, more people had the time and the money to keep animals purely as pets.1

According to the 2011-2012 APPA National Pet Owners Survey, 62% of U.S. households own a pet, which equates to 72.9 million homes, with more than 70 million dogs and more than 80 million cats among the mix.    Of course, there are some limits to pet “ownership” like home size, practicality and legal considerations.  You’re not likely to find a Siberian Tiger napping on your bed (unless you’re Siegfried or Roy) or a dolphin in your swimming pool.  Many of us have that little bit of fantasy in the back of our minds that we could somehow surround ourselves with all of the animals we have an affinity for.

There are a lot of historical, social and psychological reasons for our connection to animals, but the purpose here is to get you to look a little bit differently at your connection to specific creatures and what it might mean. What can we learn about ourselves from it?  For reasons that are on the spiritual side to some, and probably more on the psychological side to others, it is possible to discover a little bit more about ourselves and maybe about our path in life from these beings we are drawn to.

Start by just thinking about what particular animal you are MOST attracted to or have the strongest connection with.  It doesn’t have to be a domestic animal, though that is certainly allowed.  What’s your favorite animal; dog, a cat, fox, deer, dolphin, elephant, caribou?  Get yourself a piece of paper, or open up a text document on your computer and write or type the name of the animal.

Now without thinking too hard about it, start writing down words or traits that you associate with that animal.  Just whatever short bits come quickly to mind; like strength, wisdom, speed, leadership, power or that sort of thing. Think about how these traits might apply to you and your life.  Do you have more strength than you give yourself credit for?  Do others rely on your for your wisdom and leadership?  Often the qualities of the animals we are attracted to are qualities reflected in ourselves.

In a time of difficulty or struggle, think about this animal and the qualities that you admire.  You might even get a little crazy and imagine yourself AS that animal and feel those qualities in yourself.  Find in yourself the strength of a horse to power your way through a difficult task, or the cleverness of a fox to quickly think your way out of a tricky situation.

During a meditation or other quiet moment, visualize yourself in your favorite place in nature. Imagine that your animal appears to you and you are able to have a conversation with it. Ask what messages they may have for you, or simply chat with the being and find out what it has to say.

You can go even further into exploring yourself and your life by looking deeper into the meaning, mythology and lore of your chosen animal.  Research Native American mythology and learn about the crow’s connection to sacred law or the wolf as a teacher.  What did cats represent to the ancient Egyptians?  What element or god is it associated with?  How does it all relate to where you are in your life and where you’re heading?  Or where you’ve been?  You might be surprised!

Lastly, you take a look at other animals that might be associated with this animal.  Cats and mice?  Dogs and cats?  What does your animal eat if left to its own devices?  What might eat your animal?  Look for the interrelationships there and what those animals might mean to you in correlation with yours.  How does it relate to you and your life?  Are you a dog person who has a pesky cat annoying you somewhere in your life?  What is the solution to that?  (And no, it is NOT eat them!)

Sometimes when we find ourselves stuck in a rut in life, a little self-reflection can be a good thing.  Perhaps many things could be substituted for an animal and work in the same way, but given our natural affinity for them, it may simply come more naturally to work with an animal as a reference.  Many cultures place faith the in power of totem animals or animal guides and guardians.  Maybe the solution to some of modern society’s angst can be found in some old wisdom and an open mind.

References:

http://www.libraryindex.com/pages/2205/Pets-HISTORY.html

http://www.americanpetproducts.org/press_industrytrends.aspImage

 

Confession- True or False

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married my parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouse
s. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.
She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.”

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house.

I walked straight towards my car to get a condom. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said,”We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

 

Don’t Mess with Mau Forest,It’s the Jewel of Kenya

The single most identifying object for Kenya is wildlife. This is followed closely by athletes. The global illegal trade for wildlife and wildlife products is going up. In South Africa, in 2010 they lost 340 rhinos to poaching. Kenya is lucky because it has put in place the necessary security measures and what is normally seen at the airports is from neighboring countries and it has been confirmed through DNA analysis but this does not mean that elephants are not being killed in Kenya; they are but in smaller quantities which can be controlled and the average between the last five years is between 50 and 70 elephants per year. It is only Kenya that can account for its animals to the last one. This makes the country proud since the numbers are going up. This is witnessed across all the species. Some are struggling for example the lion and the main reason(s) here being that as the King of the Jungle, the require more space for breeding, hunting and roaming but that space is diminishing very first and the cause of this is the increase in Kenyan population which is increasing at a rate of 1 million every year. The animals are feeling squeezed and this is a big challenge even in years to come.
The huge population comes with other grave effects and the threat therefore comes to wildlife since people look at them as either a source of livelihood or food. The national land management plan can adequately solve this issue when people are categorically moved away from wildlife dispersal areas, wildlife protected areas and wildlife corridors to better regions to avoid conflicts and destruction of ecosystems. Wildlife supports a huge industry in the country and it goes beyond tourism. As protected areas system supports tourism which contributes about 15 per cent of the GDP and this means national income. It also supports the entire water industry. In Kenya, the Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS) protects all the water towers in the country except one, The Mau. The entire water being used in Nairobi comes from Aberdares, a National Park. They also protect Mt Kenya and Mt Elgon. All these water towers are protected and supported by the wildlife industry. Water basically is life. Therefore the wildlife industry supports between 25 – 30 per cent of Kenya’s GDP.
The twist surrounding Maasai Mara is that the owner of the land in Narok County Council but the entire Maasai Mara is trust land and trust lands are community lands entrusted to local authorities. This means that all the money made from the land goes to the council. This is estimated at $25 million (Ksh2bn) making it the richest rural local authority in East and Central Africa. 30 per cent of tourists or visitors that come to Kenya end up in Maasai Mara in one way or another. This makes it the number one protected area by KWS in the country. The pain only comes in the management of this jewel which is equivalent to Kenya’s brand. Whatever goes wrong in Maasai Mara has ramifications on the image of the country. Tourism literatures classify the Mara as one of the best wildlife real estates in the world.  The local apparently are not happy because the proceeds from the park seem not to benefit them fully in terms of amenities and infrastructure but that is story for another day.
KWS does not have any control of Mau Forest. For the ownership, part of it is a forest reserve controlled by Kenya Forestry Service and the other side (western section) belongs to Narok County Council, trust land. Before the forest act was put in place, way before 2005, the politicians could excise the forest and this has happened since 1932. The biggest excision occurred in 2001 where 67,000 acres was hived off and the most severe was East Mau. East Mau supports six rivers flowing into Lake Nakuru and the effect of this now is that all these rivers currently are seasonal. On a wider scope, Mau entirely controls 12 main rivers. If Molo River dries up, Lake Baringo is affected immediately. If Kerio River which flows into Lake Turban dries up, the lake is affected immediately. If three rivers, River Yala, River Nyando and River Sondu Miriu which flows into Lake Victoria are affected, the effects are severe. Already, there is a power plant at Sondu Miriu and there is no dam around, the turbines are moved by the natural flow of the river. If the river is affected, the power plant automatically stalls. The Mara River flows right through Maasai Mara and if this dries up, the jewel is lost completely since it is the only source of water in that area. Ewaso Nyiro River flows into Lake Natron, the only place in the region where flamingoes breed. The flamingo circle system which flows from Lake Nakuru, Lake Magadi and Lake Bogoria, all that will disappear because the only source of fresh water into Lake Natron comes from Mau. The spectacle will be gone and also add the six rivers flowing into Lake Naivasha and Lake Nakuru. Therefore Mau is life and Mau is Kenya, we cannot play around with it! Please do politics with other things but not this one. The nearby towns of Molo and Elburgon are all originally part of Mau Forest. This is the most extensive forest in the region other than Congo Forest.
The global entitlement of an individual to water is 1000 cubic metres per citizen but in Kenya its is only 300 cubic metres per individual. The tragedy of this all that the ratio is declining. The grave outcome and source of conflicts in the Northern parts of Kenya is the struggle for the scarce water and pasture resources among others. This is moving south. More tragically, Nairobi, the capital city is served water from only two dams, Sasumwa and Ndakaini, which gets their water from Aberdares. The other dam planned in Makuyu is not yet operational. Luckily, Aberdares in now fully fenced electrically but people can still cut the electric fence and go in. The recommendation for Nairobi just a little payment for ecological services whereby they can invest back in the communities around Aberdares so they don’t overstretch the jewel and protect it. Debate on natural resource management should dominate any other thing because there is trouble already. On energy, about 70 per cent of Kenyans use wood fuel or charcoal but there is only 1.7 per cent forest cover remaining and it’s declining. Worth knowing also is that the global recommended forest cover for any country is 10 per cent. Lost forest land should be reclaimed and restored.
Vision 2030 can never be realized if investors keep asking if there is adequate, constant and sustainable supply of electricity and water. The government can also subsidize the kerosene price and supply as well as cooking gas to affordable standards. Every citizen must also play a part, plant a tree every month. In a year you shall have planted 12 and if this is multiplied by 40 million people, these will be a lot of trees. It is sometimes a matter of common sense, take a stance.

100 Things to talk about online beside yourself.

The number one question I hear when it comes to Twitter is “what do I talk about?”

Given that most people do NOT know what to talk about, many wind up either boring their social community to death or they turn them off because they default to talking about themselves.

Never fear. You do not need to default to tweeting like a self centered, babbling idiot.

Check out these 100 ideas to inspire, connect, entertain and delight your audiences. No, not every one of them is going to work for every tweeter and every audience. However, many of them will work for most people and most businesses.

As I always say “there is only one way to do social media, and that is the way that works for you and your business.”  Listen to the advice others have for you, but determine priorities for investment of time, resource, conversation content based upon your objectives and goals.

Remember your number one goal is to inspire and connect with your audience. Help them achieve their goals and by default you will achieve yours. Inspire – connect – achieve! Don’t over complicate it.

1. Tips to help your customers solve their business problems.

2. Tips to help your audience solve life problems.

3. Tips to help your audience, clients and friends live a better life.

4. Anything that shows you are human. Be real, engaging and talk like a human being, not a robot.

5. Industry news.

6. News about your city, state, country or the world.

7. Content that will strike an emotion. Make them laugh, cry, and think. Made them feel something.

8. Links to videos, podcasts or other materials that inspire, connect and delight them.

9. Inspirational quotes. Did you know quotes are the #1 retweeted content on Twitter?

10. Quotes of famous authors, artists or business leaders.

11. to help people save money, time and resource. No, this does not mean you tweet coupons for your own business.

12. Information about a charity that needs help.

13. Photos of you doing something fun, inspiring or helpful to your community.

14. Photos of others doing something interesting. Remember, every tweet shouldn’t be about you!

15. Tips for how to get started with a new business or idea.

16. Tips for starting a business. If you are business owner, share your story, ups and downs.

17. Tips for how to use a product such as software, hardware, game or other.

18. Funny jokes.

19. Tips for local discounts or fun and unique things to do.

20. Adventures you experience while not working. Could include concerts, visits to the zoo, park, or even the neighbors house.

21. Photos of nature, sunsets or anything beautiful, funny, inspiring and entertaining.

22. Friendly reminders of important dates or holidays.

23. Holiday wishes.

24. Birthday wishes.

25. A simple hello, good morning or goodnight.

26. Thank someone for inspiring and delighting you.

27. Thank a favorite blogger, writer, thought leader, business, or artist for what they do.

28. Let someone know you appreciate them for simply being who they are.

29. Share tips from an event or presentation.

30. Share funny moments from a movie, sports game or event of any kind.

31. Information to help people avoid risk in business or life. This could include traffic avoidance, deadlines for state government requirements and the list goes on.

32. Share a song.

33. Start a conversation about anything other than yourself or your own business.

34. Ask a question that requires an answer other than yes or no.

35. Thank someone for commenting on your blog.

36. Ask a question to support a research project.

37. Conduct a poll.

38. Thank your community for following you.

39. Ask your community what they would like you to talk about.

40. Tweet pictures of your favorite food dish, restaurant or recipe.

41. Tell a story over a few tweets.

42. Ask for help.

43. Offer help to others.

44. Ask for tips for finding a product or service you want to buy.

45. Ask for opinions on a product or service you are considering buying.

46. Share your favorite content from other blogs and news media outlets.

47. Ask for tips of where to find good content that pertains to your industry, business or community.

48. Ask questions of others to learn about them.

49. Curate the best possible content you can find. Do NOT be afraid to share your top competitors content. Show confidence in who you are and what you do.

50. Let people know something interesting or funny that happens to you during the day.

51. Share a frustration, though do this with caution. I usually don’t recommend talking negatively excessively as it will turn many people off.

52. Do the mama test. Tweet like nobody is listenin’ except yo’ mama!

53. Share a new recipe.

54. Share tips on a hobby such as fishing, biking, skiing, rc cars and the list goes on.

55. Share your journey on reaching a goal such as weight loss, shedding a bad habit. By doing this you may inspire others as well as connect with people with the same interests.

56. Celebrations and milestones. Reach a big goal? Share it. As long as you are humble and share your good days, mediocre and even bad days your community will gladly celebrate with you as they will have helped build you!

57. Fun photos of an amusement park.

58. Photos of your business team enjoying life outside of the office.

59. Tips for others to take a break from work.

60. Tips for others to enjoy more life balance.

61. Connect and talk about many topics and meet new friends via a Twitter chat.

62. Stock market or other financial tips.

63. Breaking news from national and world media outlets.

64. Progress toward goals and objectives in business and life.

65. Encouragement for a friend or colleague who you know needs inspired.

66. Retweets of other people’s awesome tweets and content.

67. Replies to others who tweet and talk to you.

68. Reviews, opinions and formal evaluations on products and services you have tried.

69. Check-in at your favorite restaurant or store via FourSquare or other geo application.

70. Weather tips if there is a storm in the area.

71. Statistics about products, services, industries or niches.

72. Data of any sort that can educate and teach others.

73. How to information and guides.

74. Maps or other helpful advice for tourists if you are in the tourism or hospitality business.

75. Welcome tweets when people check in to your business location.

76. Reply to people who tweet about your brand /business.

77. What you are thinking about. Tweet a deep thought daily tweet.

78. What you are dreaming about. Share your dreams and aspirations. Some may have the same dreams and you will be able to connect with them in a very unique way.

79. Customer services tweets to those who need help from your business.

80. Thank you messages to your customers for stopping in, purchasing something or simply being your customer.

81. Help other people achieve their goals. Share their content, promotions or charity fundraisers.

82. Be a connector.

83. Help people get answers to their questions.

84. Tweet and acknowledge similar interests. If you notice a new follower lives in a town you use to live in, let them know.

85. Compliment someone’s profile, bio or other information that inspires you.

86. Refer your followers to some of your favorite businesses, authors or colleagues.

87. Share something funny your kid or family member did that made you laugh. It might make others laugh too.

88. Share simple moments of life that share a part of you, show your human side but don’t come off as self centered.

89. Share a prediction.

90. Tweet a good Pinterest board.

91. Tweet a good Google+ community.

92. Tweet an engaging and inspiring group on LinkedIn.

93. Tweet a cool and inspiring Facebook business page, group or community.

94. Share a poll or focus group research which results will be shared with those who participate.

95. Share or start a poll.

96. Start or share a list on list.ly.

97. Teach others how to do something.

98. Help people simply do more, do less or simply be better.

99. Tweet this post so your friends can stop tweeting like self centered, babbling idiots.

100. You think of something. I have give you 99 ideas. You can at least come up with one and then add it in the comment section, can’t you? That way people won’t yell at me and say I only offered 99 tips when the blog title states 100!Image

 

FOR THE LOVE OF MUM AND DAD

Nine months you carried me with you

Through pain and suffering

This, mum, you did without complaining.

Through the happy moments and bad ones too.

 

Though you could only imagine,

Your presence was felt daddy

Food on the table for the whole family

You knew someone was coming.

 

Helping each other and providing comfort,

You both knew how to tackle issues

Feeding us day in day out

This is a credit to you both daddy and mummy.

 

Mummy held the family together

Daddy did all the difficult part

Schooling, clothing, feeding and a good shelter for all

You both make me proud.

 

Daddy knows how I feel

Mummy knows what I want

Sometimes they disagree how to impress me

I Love you both dear mum and dad.

 

Nothing lasts forever

I miss you so much daddy

This is a tribute to you

I wish you were here to share some with me

By Alex Owanoh

 

Facebook

You make me cheat on my job
On my desktop I transfix’
Very busy from far, but far from busy.
At the mention of your name my pen drop’
And my fingers in a frenzy
Drum the tabs like stilted lunatics

If you were my objective,
I would spend my time religiously
And up the ladder through ranks
With intents subjective,
My boss would reward prodigiously
My enthusiasm with many a franc

As much as I’d love to hate you
On the flip side and very much the truth
I’d hate to leave you,
A quandary that only serves
To whet my appetite and indulge more
For I for you is all enchantment